A Wide Divide
by bookwurm23
Summary: If there was one thing about Lucy that everyone knew well – especially her siblings – it was that she didn’t lie. Or Lucy had thought so -but now, she isn't so sure. What was Lucy feeling when her siblings didn't believe her about seeing Aslan? Book-verse


**Disclaimer: This is pretty much taken directly out of the book, only a bit more in depth into what Lucy might have been feeling. So, I really don't own it. **

A Wide Divide

If there was one thing about Lucy that everyone knew well – especially her siblings – it was that she didn't lie. It certainly wasn't something she could do convincingly, if she had been bothered to try. Or at least Lucy, having lived with her siblings for all of her life – which was twenty four years, at least, including those spent in Narnia – definitely had thought so. She also had guessed that they were well aware she knew Aslan when she saw Him, but she wasn't so sure anymore as she stood there on the precipice, Peter and Susan questioning her good, heart felt words.

It was enough to make as kind a girl as Lucy stomp her foot – and she did, too.

"Don't talk like a grown up," she said, feeling angry hurt well up in her. "I don't _think_ I saw him. I saw him." She firmly stated, cementing her previous words, letting them all know she wasn't joking – especially not about something as important as this. Did they really think she wouldn't know if she saw Aslan or not? He was who she longed to see every day, whose splendor she would know anywhere. How could she not recognize his golden mane, or the way the sun shone brighter wherever he was?

"Where, Lu?" Peter asked. He seemed desperate, like he really wanted to believe, but just couldn't, at least not without seeing it for himself.

Impatient, Lucy pointed to where she had seen the great Lion and directed him, "Right there between those mountain ashes. No," She corrected his gaze, jabbing her pointing finger for emphasis, "this side of the gorge. And up, not down. Just the opposite of the way you want to go."

"And," she added to her previous statement, "He wanted us to go where he was – up there." While Peter – and the others – looked for Aslan where she pointed, her heart fell to her feet. It was obvious by their disbelieving, straining faces that they couldn't see him, hadn't seen him.

"How do you know that was what he wanted?" Edmund asked. He didn't say it to her unkindly, or like she was a child, but Lucy stuttered none the less and she might have blushed if she didn't feel so strongly that Aslan really _did_ want them to follow him.

"He – I – I just know. By his face," She didn't much reflect on how that must have sounded to the others. She could only think about how it was the truth – she was practically itching to go follow him, because she knew that was exactly what he wanted her to do. Oh, she yearned to just put her face in his mane and just forget about how hurt she felt at that moment, for him to make everything right again, the way it had been!

"Her majesty may well have seen a lion," the DLF cut in, "There are lions in this wood, I've been told. But it needn't have been a friendly and talking lion any more than the bear was a friendly and talking bear." He sounded so sensible, and like he was so sure of himself. Lucy's temper rose a little bit, but she tried to put a lid on her anger.

"Oh, don't be so stupid," She said, exasperated. "Do you think I don't know Aslan when I see him?"

Of course, she tried not to be too angry at Trumpkin – he had never seen Aslan, of course he couldn't know. But she was hard put, and her lips pursed with the effort not to say anything horrid to the poor dwarf.

But then, when the man went on about how Aslan would be an old lion by now – as if he could age! – or that he might even have turned wild and witless, like the bear; oh, she couldn't control her anger.

Rage made her face turn a dark shade of red, and she almost threw herself at the dwarf, who had now realized his mistake and was hastily back tracking, though he was trying to make it look otherwise – after all, a strong dwarf like him shouldn't be afraid of a little girl, she thought a bit bitterly. She probably would have went at him had Peter not put his hand on her arm in a comforting – or restraining – gesture. Except that it wasn't too very comforting, because Lucy felt rather put out with him at the moment; but it did serve to remind her of common sense – Aslan wouldn't like her to be flying at poor Trumpkin, even if it was for his honor, and even if he did, she probably wouldn't win if it came to a fight between them (though she doubted the DLF would fight back against a little girl like herself).

As her rage cooled, Lucy heard Peter saying something to Trumpkin about not speaking that way of Aslan – she really only noticed his words when he stated, "The only question is whether Aslan was really there."

Abruptly, her anger melted into pure hurt, and her eyes filled with tears. "But I know he was." She would stick to her story – but how could Peter, her hero, her king, her big brother – not believe her?

"Yes, Lu, but we don't, you see," Peter said patiently. He was probably struggling to hold his own temper back, but he was ever the picture of the High King – polite and dignified.

Ever the fair one, Edmund came up with a compromise – the only compromise that probably could work in this situation, Lucy thought. "There's nothing for it but a vote."

Lucy's heart sunk even lower – she thought she knew who was going to win, and it probably wouldn't be her.

"All right," Peter agreed. He turned around to look at Trumpkin and asked, "You're the eldest, DLF. What do you vote for? Up or down?"

"Down," he replied. Then he spouted off some nonsense that Lucy didn't bother listening to – it was all about how hard it would be to go Aslan's route – Lucy thought that it should hardly matter how hard it was, as long as it was right, but kept her mouth shut - and that there was no such thing as Aslan, which she already knew for a fact that there _was._ Lucy wasn't at all surprised by his vote, and her hands wrung as she waited to hear what Susan would say when Peter turned to question her.

As soon as Su said, "Don't be angry, Lu," she knew exactly what the vote was.

"I think we should go down. I'm dead tired. Do let's get out of this wretched wood into the open as quick as we can. And none of us except you saw _anything_." More tears welled up in Lucy's eyes, though she willed herself to suck them back in. She didn't want to cry and seem like a horrid little baby, always being an annoying brat. But, oh, how it hurt for Susan to say so! Doubts assailed Lucy, and she wondered – did they really have so little faith in her? Hadn't she proved herself a hundred times over, that she was strong enough, smart enough, good enough, _old_ enough? That she was trust worthy, dependable?

Her stomach twisted when Peter turned and questioned, "Edmund?"

And this was the real test – Edmund wouldn't make his decision based on how hard it would be to get across the gorge. Lucy knew that Edmund knew that sometimes, Aslan's way wasn't the easy way – he probably knew it better than anyone. So it wasn't a question of whether or not he was tired – it was a question of whether he truly trusted her judgment. And she could only have faith that he did, even if little doubts made her eyes smart and sting.

"Well, there's just this," Edmund began, blushing a little and almost tripping over his words he was talking so quickly. Lucy's heart beat very fast in anticipation – what would he say? She couldn't discern whose side he was on by his voice.

"When we first discovered Narnia a year ago – or a thousand years ago, whichever it is – it was Lucy who discovered it first and none of us would believe her. I was the worst of the lot, I know. Yet she was right after all. Wouldn't it be fair to believe her this time? I vote for going up." Lucy's heart burst in her chest, with relief and happiness that at least one of her siblings believed her.

"Oh, Ed!" She smiled tremulously at him, and grabbed his hand, squeezing it in thanks. She was truly touched, and didn't notice the slight look of guilt on Susan's face. But there was one more vote- the most important not only because it was the tie breaker, but because Peter was High King. Everyone turned to look at him – his face was scrunched up and he was obviously thinking, because he was stroking his chin the way he always had done when they were older.

"And now it's your turn, Peter, and I do hope –" Susan began saying, her eyes fixed on his.

"Oh, shut up, shut up and let a chap think," Peter cut in, his eyes looking off to the side as most people's do when they're thinking extra hard. He didn't say it meanly, so Susan didn't look too very offended, but she hastily shut her mouth and blushed.

After a second more of deliberation, Peter exasperatedly said, "I'd much rather not have to vote."

"You're the High King," Trumpkin said sternly, giving him a fierce look that brooked no arguments.

Sighing, Peter paused, stroking his chin some more. After a while, he finally said, "Down. I know Lucy may be right after all, but I can't help it. We must do one of the other."

Lucy's lip trembled, and she held on to Edmund's hand tighter, having not let go in the first place.

"Oh, but –" Lucy tried, not really thinking saying something would do anything but deciding she had to try anyhow. Peter looked behind him – having already started walking with Susan and Trumpkin, leaving Lucy (and Edmund, who was still having his poor hand squeezed to death) behind to look longingly at the cliff – and gave her a look and a shake of the head that quite clearly told her to not say anything more. Then he turned back around and led the party to the right, along the edge of the gorge.

Lucy sniffled and stood there a while longer, though not long enough to let the others get too far away. Aslan wanted her to follow him, but her family was leading her away from him- that had never happened before. It had always been her leading them to him, not them leading her away. Her heart was breaking, and for a moment she was torn- she so desperately wanted to go after Aslan, instead of following her siblings. But could she leave them behind? Wouldn't Aslan understand that she had to follow them? She couldn't go off on her own – as much as she didn't want to admit it, she was small, and without anyone with her (she convinced herself that Edmund would leave her and follow after the group) she was as good as dead. They would probably get to the same place, in the end, anyway, she reasoned. It would just take longer.

Oh, but it still felt so horrible to be walking _away_ from Aslan, when her every instinct- every cell - was telling her to run towards him! She tightened her grip around Edmund's hand unconsciously as her mind and heart did battle. Before she could rightly decide, she heard someone calling her name snappishly – it was Susan. Bitter tears starting to flow out of her eyes, she followed after the others, wishing with all her might she could go back and follow Aslan – and her heart.

After a while of hand squeezing and sobbing, Edmund grimaced, though Lucy hardly noticed. When she didn't say anything, he cleared his throat awkwardly and stated patiently, "You're squeezing rather tightly, Lu."

She looked at him, a bit baffled for a moment and sniffling pitifully before finally understanding that she was still holding (in a rather vice-like grip) Edmund's poor, black and blue hand.

She hastily let go and blushed. She hadn't meant to hurt him.

"Sorry," She said, looking down the gorge and at the river for a moment to collect herself.

"It's quite alright," He replied graciously.

"Thank you." Lucy looked back up at her taller, older brother and found it wasn't too hard to smile after all, even if it was only a small, watery one.

Giving her an embarrassed half-grin, he answered, "You know I only thought it was fair. It's not really anything to thank me about."

"Oh," Lucy exclaimed, "but it was! It really shows how much you've changed, Ed, since a year ago, or a thousand years ago or sixteen, whichever. I really do appreciate your vote of confidence, though."

Edmund smiled kindly and put his arm around her shoulder as they walked, squeezing it for good measure when she smiled tentatively back.

They didn't talk for the rest of the journey- Lucy thought she couldn't be more anxious for it to be over, and she felt absolutely miserable – but somehow, she felt just the tiniest bit of comfort from her big brother's arm around her shoulder. And somewhere deep down, she couldn't help but believe that maybe, perhaps everything would turn out all right.

**A/N: Well, it's been a tough couple of weeks – how are you all enjoying school (if you have it)? **

**So, I'm not sure why I wrote this... But I did, so I guess it has some obscure reason. ******

**I did take the dialogue, except for the last conversation between Ed and Lucy, directly from the book. Chapter 9, or "What Lucy Saw", to be exact. Anyway, I just went more in depth with Lucy's feelings and expanded a little bit toward the end. **

**I would love to hear any comments! Thanks, guys, for being so awesome! **

**God bless you and yours,**

**Bookwurm23**


End file.
